Thursday, January 30, 2014
Forbidden: The Billionaire's Virgin Princess
By Lucy Monroe
Royal Brides mini-series
Harlequin Presents #2739
US ISBN ISBN-10: 0-373-12739-1
July 2008 both UK & North America
It certainly wasn't her heart. That particular organ was off limits to him. Forever.
So, what did all this mean for her status as a virgin? Did she have no hope of ever having a normal physical relationship with a man?
Prior to Sebastian's re-entry into her life, she'd convinced herself she was fine with being alone...with being sexually innocent. That was before he reawakened her sensual self. She still wasn't entirely sure she could trust that aspect of her nature, but she recognized it was one she missed. No matter what her mother's opinion would be on the subject.
The prospect that a man who had betrayed her held some irrevocable sway over her libido was completely unacceptable.
A man who had the audacity to believe she belonged to the man her parents had chosen for her without her input.
The sound of a growl surprised her and she realized it had come from her. He made her so angry.
No way was she going to let him hold her sexuality hostage.
So, how did she fix it? She already knew that trying to do something with another man wasn't going to work. At least not while her body was still tuned to respond to Sebastian.
She'd always kind of thought that if she ever fell in love again, not that she really wanted to – the whole pain and betrayal thing had really soured her on the concept – but that she would be as turned on by whoever she loved as she was by Sebastian.
Now, she wondered if her unresolved attraction to Sebastian was actually blocking her from feeling anything physical or emotional for another man. Her memories of the pleasure she'd experienced with him were all wrapped up in an uncomfortable shame she'd stuffed deep inside rather than deal with. The first time at the lake, she'd been so wanton in her response that she had not even realized that Bob had come up on them. Even her doctor hadn't seen her completely naked since she was a very tiny child. The thought that Bob had almost seen her breasts exposed had been extremely disconcerting.
In fact, it still was.
Then the night she learned of Sebastian's betrayal forever linked sensual pleasure with emotional pain and why hadn't she seen that before?
Because she hadn't cared enough to analyze; because she'd been safer avoiding any sort of intimacy in her life. Her parents' rejection had hurt her more deeply than they could possibly understand. Sebastian's had simply confirmed to her battered heart that it was better off lonely than taking a risk on allowing someone else to hurt her the same way.
How ridiculous that she had allowed the very people she did not want influencing her having more sway over her actions and feelings than anyone else.
This had to be changed.
Again, she wondered how to do that. She couldn't do much about the love thing right now since there was no one in her life she was even close to having that kind of attachment to. But her ability to embrace her physical nature was something else.
If she had sex with Sebastian, losing the last vestiges of her innocence and virginity, wouldn't that break through whatever mental barrier had been holding her back since she was nineteen? It had to.
The only question was: how did she get Sebastian to have conjugal relations with her when they were at odds more than anything else?
She could try seducing him, but that hadn't worked the first time around. It had only taken a single phone call to derail her plans as well as what she'd thought was their relationship. Besides, she wasn't super fond of subtle manipulations. She'd much rather be up front about what she wanted. She refused to play the games of deception that Sebastian now said he was sorry for.
She turned the problem over in her mind until a decent plan began to form.