Monday, March 19, 2012

It’s not a Dream – It’s Who I Am

I was doing a little spring cleaning in my files this weekend and came across this post from before I was published.  It is hard to remember those days and at the same time I don't take the fact that someone found my books worth publishing for granted.  I hope you read this post and feel inspired to never give up and continue to push forward until you reach your goals.  

It’s not a Dream – It’s Who I Am

I woke up this morning feeling like a writer.  Something inside me has changed and the term “romance author” is no longer a dream I pursue, but part of the definition of who I am.  It’s not a goal on the far horizon, but the reality of my present.

No, I didn’t publish while I was sleeping.  I didn’t get “the call” upon waking.  I’m not sure what changed my perspective.

Is it the over one-million words of romantic fiction I’ve typed so earnestly into my computer and presented to others for critique, acceptance or rejection?

Is it the two hanging files bulging with contest comments, scores, finalist notifications, placement announcements and that one win?

Is it the not so bulging, but just as impacting file full of editorial comment and/or rejection?

Or the identical one for agents?

Is it the industry knowledge stored on my computer and in my brain that I’ve eagerly sought while learning my craft over the past few years?

Or is the knowledge that yesterday I sent a certified letter severing the business relationship with my agent?

I think maybe that was the final thread in the weave that resulted in me waking up this morning no longer feeling like a wannabe, but an I am.   I made that decision based on what was best for my career.  A career that does not yet include a sale, but is real nonetheless, with a future – a future I could not afford to see stymied by attaching myself to an agent who didn’t share my vision for it, or my writing.

I’ll sell one day, maybe even one day soon.  Maybe not.  But I won’t give up trying, because this person...this romance author...she’s me.  She’s part of who I am.  I’ll always be a writer and the unpublished tag doesn’t make it any less real...not anymore.

I woke up this morning feeling like a writer and it felt good. 

What are you doing to keep your dreams alive?

Don't forget to sign up for my ReaderFitness Challenge! 


marybelle said...

I think the most important way I am keeping my dreams alive is to believe in myself.

girlygirlhoosier52 said...

Congrats on believing in yourself.. I'd be interested in knowing how soon after this you were published..

Judy said...

Awesome post! There is something about saying AND believing "I am ________." I'm still struggling with saying, "I am a romance writer," but I'm learning. Thanks for the great example.

Lorna said...

What great insight!

Anonymous said...

Congrats mine would be I believe in myself that is how I can keep my dreams alive i