Monday, July 14, 2008

Kay Stockham: a confession

First off, a confession: For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with my weight. I’ve been up, down, up again, and again, then down and up still more. Female issues played a role but I have the official stamp of yo-yo dieter marked on my behind.

I come from a family of ‘hearty’ eaters. Some of my uncles and cousins are six-six and four hundred pounds. And I don’t know of a single female member of my family who hasn’t done the rounds with dieting, pills, etc. Genetics? Some. Health conditions? Oh, yeah. Habits… Most definitely. Ever notice how that works?

When we get together, we eat. If we’re sad, we eat. Happy, eat. Celebrating, eat. Just like the Golden Girls pulled out that cheesecake whenever they had a problem, my family is big into comforting issues with food. My husband’s family is no different. Which means upstairs in my closet I have a range of four sizes of clothing. Yup, four. But until being inspired by my heroine in HIS SON’S TEACHER, Jenn, I wasn’t able to give up my overabundance of fat, getting fatter or OMG-what-have-I-done ensembles because I just couldn’t get a handle on my fluctuating weight, even though surgery has corrected one of the health issues plaguing me.

While writing Jenn’s character, I had to concentrate on changing her mindset from one of self-disgust and emotional eating, to one of self-confidence, awareness and health. It wasn’t easy. And if you pick up HIS SON’S TEACHER you’ll see that Jenn’s fully aware it’s a daily struggle. But she inspired me nonetheless because I wanted her mindset for myself. Instead of dieting for a size or number, I wanted to feel healthy, not out of breath when I walked up the stairs. Instead of starving myself, I wanted to feel full and eat healthier, but the chocoholic in me wasn’t sure how to go about doing that.

A couple weeks after finishing HIS SON’S TEACHER, I found Weight Watchers. And as of today, I’m twenty-five pounds lighter. I give WW and Jenn full credit, although I know my change of mindset played a big role, too. What did it? I’ve been blessed and amazed by the support and friendship I’ve found with the women I’ve met at WW. And I’ve learned accountability is important in managing my weight. Getting on that scale, seeing those women, helps me make better food choices during the week in between. I’m not always good and slip off track into Chocolate-land often, but knowing I’ll see them gets me right back on the path again. I hope to make my goal of 30 pounds soon.

So what about you? Do you struggle with your weight? Do you want to lose and just haven’t found the inspiration or change of attitude to do it? What’s holding you back? I hope you’ll share your thoughts and discover, like I did, that you’re not alone.

Share your thoughts and I’ll choose a winner from those who post. The winner will receive a beautiful pair of beaded earrings made by moi.

Kay Stockham is a Waldenbooks Bestselling author and RITA Nominee. When she’s not writing or spending time with her family, she’s indulging in her newest hobby of beading. HIS SON’S TEACHER (Harlequin Superromance) is on shelves July 8. An RT TOP PICK, HIS SON’S TEACHER received 4 ½ stars and is quoted as being “a novel every woman will love.”

Kay Stockham - Double Finalist, Gayle Wilson AOE
Another Man's Baby, Harlequin Superromance- Mar 08
The Power of Love Anthology, Berkley, Jun 08 -
His Son's Teacher, Harlequin Superromance, Jul 08 -
RT TOP PICK! 4.5 Stars!
Want to win fabulous prizes? Check out! Friend me!


Jane said...

Hi Kay,
I'm not struggling with my weight, but I would like to lose a couple of pounds. I haven't really been motivated because I know I'm not overweight, but I know losing those few pounds will make me feel better and healthier. I drink less soda and snack less. My favorite mode of exercise is walking. I'm not a gym person, but I try to walk as much as possible.

robynl said...

Oh I hear you, I really do. I have been up and down so often that I could be dizzy by now. LOL.
I have done WW and it's the only one that works the best for me. I don't have a new up-to-date program but still could use the last one I have. I just can't get motivated in this heat. See, another excuse.
Congrats on your loss; you go girl.

Amy said...

Kay, your story sounds so much like me. I have been up and down all my life. I did WW five years ago and lost 45lbs. I quit going to the meetings and I have found those 45lbs again. I think WW is the Best.

I do need some inspiration to lose weight again. I need to lose about 70lbs to be where I really want to be. I will definitely have to pick up a copy of His Son's Teacher.

Congratulations on the Weight Loss!

Brandy said...

I have struggled with my weight since I was a teenager. It wasn't until my first child was born that I tried to diet. I did well, but did it the wrong way and ended up sick. So, the weight came back and I was fine. Then I had my second child (and a second bought with gestational diabetes) and decided after the birth that I couldn't go on this way. So, I've been exercising regularly now and watcing some of what I eat (I have a sweet tooth and just can't cut out desserts.). I haven't lost any weight, but then again I am now in good shape and have muscles! *G* (Oh, and the not losing weight thing? It may have something to do with just being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. At least that's what I'm hoping.)

Nathalie said...

I don't have problems with my weight... but I know lots of people who struggle with it!

Congrats on your 25 pounds!
May you keep this weight loss!

traveler said...

I have always had to be careful about how much I eat and what I eat, since I was young so I try to stay within a certain weight limit. This year due to stress etc. I am up more than I like, so I walk and work out at least three times a week. It is mostly portion control and better eating habits. Best of luck and you are doing well.

Anonymous said...

What an inspiring post. Keeping a journal helps. You should be proud of this achievement. I was always round and then got fed up so I only ate really healthy foods and worked out like a demon. Now that I am older though it is harder to keep the weight off and I don't work out as much or as hard as I used to.

jenna said...

When I look at my daughters who are skinny things I am glad. I hope that this means they will never have a struggle with their weight. I maintain my weight but I am always aware of what I do each day to stay that way. Not easy but necessary. Glad to hear all about your successful weight loss.

Cherie J said...

After having my first child 5 years ago keepinmg the weight off has been a major problem. I have been such a huge yo yo dieter. I seriously need to lose 20 pounds for the sake of my helth. Diabetes is a major concern for me since it runs in my family and being overweight increases my risk. This week I am getting back on my exercise plan and working out at least 3 days for 30 minutes starting today.

flchen1 said...

I'm thankful not to have struggled much with my weight--it's such a tough battle! Huge congrats to you on getting to where you're feeling stronger and healthier! Good for you and all of you still working on it! And congrats on your latest release--it sounds like a terrific story!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your book and your weight loss. I have struggled with this since I was very young. I am heavy and built that way but am short too so it is more than difficult to tackle. I was on weight watchers and this is the best method for me. Easy to follow and great results.

Cryna said...

Kay congratulations on the release.

As for weight problems I have always had the problem. I would love to lose about 20 pounds, which would be really cool.

Congratulations on your weight loss, you go girl!!

Judy F said...

Hey Kay... Congrats on the weight loss. My weight is all over the place. I used to be a lot thinner but I think I have so much stress anymore eating is a comfort. I need to change that ASAP.

I loved your book. Keep you the great writing

Lisa F. said...

Talking with you in June about weight, family and other issues really was an inspiration to me. You look great and I congratulate you again on your 25 pounds and healthier lifestyle.

lamclane said...

HI Kay,

I know... I've always struggled too and sheesh sitting in this chair writing sure doesn't help. Of course middle age is killer too... but I try to keep it under control.

I love when characters struggle with real issues and weight and women is one of those issues.

Jodi said...

I struggle with losing weight. My nutrionist and doctor are stumped as to why the weight is staying. I get lots of exercise (going to they gym and Taekwondo - plus sparring) besides the normal activities. I don't eat a lot of food and so they think that my body actually isn't getting enough calories! I just can't eat more though. I guess I need to start keeping track of my intake again to see if it's changed at all. Ugh!

Kay Stockham said...

Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm so sorry I wasn't able to post but I read all of your stories. You've inspired me. Weight is such a challenge isn't it? But we can do it! I've learned that you can't struggle through this alone and truly be successful.


Kay Stockham said...

Robynl--you're the winner! Please contact me at with your shipping information. I hope you enjoy the earrings!


robynl said...

Oh thank you Kay for the beaded earrings; I am excited and sent the e-mail.

Brandy said...

WOO-HOO Robynl!

And Kay, thank you so much for posting, wishing continued success for your weight issues.

Maureen said...

Hi Kay,
I definitely understand what you're saying because weight has always been an issue in our family too. I agree with you that I am now trying to concentrate on having a healthier lifestyle and not worry so much about what size I am.