Thursday, March 27, 2008

Thinking Thursday

I'm hoping to do a live post today from the cruise ship, but if I don't, I'd still love to chat about life with you all - even if I do end up reading your comments when we hit Port tomorrow. :)

What am I thinking about lately? Funnily enough it's not the high cost of paper and how that has been driving book prices higher and higher. It's not about Harlequin Presents coming out with 12 titles a month, or the fact that even with that line the amount of promotion I do can heavily impact sales and my ranking. It's not about whether or not my current book is as good as I want it to be. All those things take a lot of my time in my thinking spot (anyone else a big Winnie-the-Pooh fan?), but lately, what's really on my mind is what it means to be a parent. More specifically, what it means to be a mom.

My kids are all teens and man, is it hard. I mean really, really. My youngest daughter is so much like me we butt heads until one of us should have a cracked skull. Hasn't happened yet, thank goodness - but there are days I look for the blood. My oldest is pregnant - nine months of PMS. It's not like that for everyone but M2B makes DQ look like the calm one some days. Don't get me wrong. I adore my girls, being their mom can be challenging though.

Then there is my son. He's a conspiracy theorists. Gets it from Hubcap's dad, but no, just for the mildly curious, it is not a peaceful moment to realize your son has read the Anarchist's Cookbook and because he has a semi-photographic memory, he remembers it too! Everyone calls him the The Gentle Giant, but don't think that stops me from worrying.

So, yeah...what does it mean to be a mom? For me, it means listening. A lot. Listening to DQ or M2B vent without rolling my eyes. Listening to my son expound on his conspiracy theories and help him to get to a place where maybe he's a bit more balanced and a lot more rational. Teen boys talk about a lot of strange stuff and mine shares it all with his mom - what his friends say, what the other kids at school say and what he's thinking about it all. He's a deep thinker - a philosopher. And most days that's pretty cool, just some it's harrowing. ;-)

Being a mom also means putting my foot down and keeping it there, no matter how many deadlines I'm edging or what else is going on in my life. It was a lot easier to do this when they were little. Now, sometimes it's just pure cussedness that keeps me standing in my son's doorway insisting he do what I've asked until he does it. Then he apologizes. Always. He doesn't like hurting my feelings, but sometimes he's just a six-foot-five rebel without a cause. You know?

Well, that's what I've been thinking about. How about you? What do you think it means to be a parent?




Lettetia said...

Amen, Dear Friend. I am with you in your thinking. Children are a precious gift from God and though they drive us nuts sometimes we always love them, no matter what they do.

Happy Sailing and give a hug to everyone for me, will ya?

Amy said...

I don't have children so I can't really answer the question. But I have 5 neices I am very close to, ages 21, 18, 12, and the twins are 9(all sisters). The older two girls are a-lot more difficult than the younger three.

Virginia said...

I agree with your thinking. I have an 18 year old son, but he don't share with me. He talks a lot to his dad but not much to me.

Phyllis said...

Children are wonderful but they do think you're the child sometimes. I drove to NJ last weekend with my daughter and we butted heads but then made up. Driving for a total of twelve hours in one day does that to you sometimes and then she called yesterday to see if I was driving her to DC this weekend. Can you say, "no"? She needs to drive me as I'm older. LOL

Being a parent definitely means give and take. You give all your love and hope they take your advice, as you are doing the best you can. You want better for them than you had growing up. When the grands come, you fall in love all over again, most times without the responsibility.

Denysé said...

That image of Pooh resembles me at the moment trying to finish my current book!

I hope you're having a fabulous time on the cruise, Lucy! I don't have kids, so no comment to offer, I just wanted to say hello and let you know I was thinking about you, my friend!


WK said...

I think about what it means often. I'm a mom, stay at home, to two little ones, although at 6 soon to be 7 my son no longer thinks he's little, ohh no he wants to be a race car driver,so has decided we need to get him a go cart he can race and go ahead and get him in races(can you say NO), and baby girl just turned 4, but thinks she's 24 instead.

so I think about it alot. I worry I'm not a good enough parent, I worry I don't give them enough of my time, or do enough with them.

I feel being a parent changes as our kids change. I mean when they were newborn it meant being there for them for all things, I nursed so even feedings meant moma had to be there. I loved it. They needed me. then as they grew it meant I had to let go a little(Okay so that's my hardest thing to do) but I did it. They are both very independent and think for themselves. I don't dress either of them, so if they don't match ah well, it's what they wanted to wear. Unless it's for a special event, like my mil's recent funeral I let them have at it. But I still worry.

I just try to remember what I wanted as a kid and be there for them. I can't say I'm perfect or even a good mom but I can say I try.

Does any of this make sense or am I rambling?


Brandy said...

Children are truly a blessing and a Gift from God. To me being a parent means being there for them, listening, laughing, supporting, hugging, loving and teaching them 24 hours a day. It means that no matter how bad I day I have, or how badly I may feel-I place those feelings aside for my children, to comfort, soothe, and offer everything I can for them.

Judy F said...

I don't have kids but I am especially close to my sisters kids. Her youngest and I are very close and a lot a like. Its a joy and a challenge watching them grow up.

Right now I am dealing and worrying about my parents they are 82 and 83 and going through a lot. Sometimes its like dealing with kids.

Lucy Monroe said...

Lettetia...hugs all around, you got it. :) We do love our kids, no matter what - that is a big part of being a mom, yeah?

Amy...that age! Oy! I found being an aunt to my puberty/teenage stricken nieces and nephews a pretty big challenge as well. :) We're all so close. least he's talking to one of you. So many kids keep their parents completely out of their minds and that's really sad all the way around.

Phyllis...Oh, I laughed at your post 'cuz I could so see me and DQ in that same situation down the road.

Thanks, Denyse! mom once said that the mark of a good mother was one who worried a lot about whether or not she was doing a good job. It means she cares! You go, girl!

Brandy, isn't that the truth? Sometimes it can feel like you don't have the luxury of emotion when your kids are in need. :)

Oh, man, JudyF...I hear you. Mom is only 65, but she's had uber bad health for a lot of years and after the stroke, things got really dicey for a while. I won't even tell you about the arguments we've had with her about driving. Sigh... But love is love is love and sometimes, that's all you've got to cling to, huh? Your nieces and nephews are lucky to have you too. I always say I'm thrilled my kids have aunts and a grandma they can talk to when they don't feel like talking to me. :)