Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Why A Blog is Better Than Standup

So….time for a serious confession. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.

You know how, when you’re growing up, you have one secret dream about doing something totally off the wall for a living that no one in their right mind would consider a stable career goal? Only me? Alrighty then.

And no, I’m not talking about making a living as a writer. At age twelve, even I wasn’t that insane.

No, I had a far more realistic far-fetched career goal in mind back then. Some girls spent time in their rooms listening to The Monkees latest 45 (yes, I’m older than dirt, thank you) and pledging to convert to the Mormon faith if only Donny Osmond would ask them out on a date. And, so, okay, maybe I spent one or two afternoons engaged in such potentially life-altering discussions. But the rest of the time, I could be found listening to George Carlin, Steve Martin, and my secret smuggled stash of Richard Pryor.

Yes. My name is Donna Kauffman, and I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up. Still do. Except, you know, for the actual traveling, getting up on stage, and bombing part of it.

Instead I write books and attempt to be funny in print. And now I have my own little “stage” – my blog. Where I can riff all I want, and never have to endure the shame of the sound of crickets chirping in response. This way, I can pretend the whole world is laughing with me. (It’s my little fantasy, please leave me to it).

Okay….so, I showed you mine. Make me feel less conspicuous out here in public and show me yours. I won’t tell a soul. Honest. J

What did you secretly want to be when you grew up?

102 comments:

Bonnie Ferguson said...

I saw George Carlin in concert once. The man is a genius }:)

A movie star and a veteranarian. ;)

Amy S. said...

A rock star or movie star.

Jennifer Y. said...

Great blog Donna!!!

A homicide detective...then I realized that I would have to see dead bodies so I switched to a K-9 officer then decided that wouldn't work so I wanted to be a singer or astronaut.

Cathie said...

Donna! Big hello. Oh yes, I do see that reflected in your books, the humor. So good you still got that dream out there in ways!
For me, I always dreamed about planes and wanting to be in one, to fly in one. I used to know some of the times of the planes that would be going past the house and watch them. We didn't have the money when we were growing up to even go on a plane. I even tried to sign up for the air force when I was a teenager, but being unable to hear they denied me. When I'm married we couldn't go long for a honeymoon since I just got a job, so no plane ride anywhere. Finally my job has me going to a conference in Washington DC. I'm totally nervous and excited! Its not flying, but its being on a plane at least. Well I got so sick it was pitiful! Second time they tried meds before I went on, worse sick. I haven't been on a plane since. LOL. Cathie

Susan said...

I loved Cheece and Chong. I'm showing my age too!

I wanted to be a teacher.

Jennifer Y. said...

Donna has a great sense of humor! I enjoy her books very much!

Lucy Monroe said...

I wanted to be a televangelist. No kidding...then a missionary...then a pastor. Finally settled for wanting to be a state senator, went as far as getting the "right" education from the "right" school for a career in politics, had my own management consulting business specializing in nonprofits and um...ended up here. I've always wanted to change the world I guess and I believe strongly that romance does that - making the world a better place one book at a time. :)

Kelley said...

I'm a bit like Jennifer Y. I wanted to be a crime scence detective! I don't think I would have had the stomach for it.

Cherie Japp said...

Enjoyed your Blog Donna! I thought I wanted to be a ballerina when I was a young girl. Then I realized after a couple years of ballet lessons that it was not ever going to happen because I was not all that good at it. Practice did not make perfect.:-)

kim said...

wtg winners

Cherie Japp said...

I had to laugh at Kelley's post because at one time i thought it would be cool to be a nurse until I realized it would not work since I could not stand looking at blood.

Carolyn A. said...

Welcome Donna! I came to visit here because I love your blog. This is a fun place too.

I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.

Erin the Innocent said...

I wanted to be a mommy.
and a Fireman (well fire fighter but whatever lol)

Pat Loverink said...

I wanted to be a Blues singer, and make my audience weep with joy every time I sang...and how did Donna turn into Lucy?

Dannyfiredragon said...

I wanted to be a firefighter, like my dad, grandpa and great grandpa before, but at that point of time no females where allowed to be firefighters here in Germany. After this I wanted to be an Archeologist or an Historian. I got the history education. LOL

Dannyfiredragon said...

Welcome Donna!

Great blog idea

Jennifer Y. said...

Kelley: Glad to see I am not alone...I still love to watch all of the crime shows on tv...one reason I wanted that profession.

Dannyfiredragon said...

Jennifer,

K9 would have been a very interesting. But homicide? Yuck.

Kelley said...

Cherie, LOL!

Jennifer Y. I love those crime shows too!

Chantal said...

For some reason I wanted to be a lawyer. I even made everyone call me 'Justice' for a few years, lol.
After I had kids I wanted to become a lactation consultant, so I did that, and now I want to be a midwife. Applying to midwifery school once my kids are grown in a future goal I have for myself.

Joyce said...

I wanted to go to the Air Force Academy. This was way before they were admitting women in it.

Jennifer Y. said...

I liked the dog Danny! LOL. I was in a phase where I watched the New Lassie and the new Rin Tin Tin K9 Cop. LOL.

As for the homicide detective part, I loved the show Homicide: Life on the Street. Then I watched some real life crime shows and decided that it was one thing to see it on tv and another to see it in person. I'd get too emotionally involved and grossed out.

Erin: I have always wanted to be a mommy...still do someday!

Kathleen said...

I wanted a job I only had to come into when I wanted to :)...like a cute flower shop or gift store!

Carol said...

Congrats to the winners!

All I really wanted was to get married and have a family and that's what I did. Now I'm the grandmother of six. I have thought about writing but I don't have any talent for it so I read great books written by others.

Donna, I'm really enjoying your stories! :)

Niny said...

Oh this is fun!! I cant remember this but my mom says that when I was 3yo I told everyone I was Marisol Malaret (she was crowned miss universe on 70) Then I wanted to be a gimnast, then a ballerina, and then I wanted to be Wonder woman!! LOL Then I got older and wanted to be a singer. But I'm, too shy so I became an accountant assistant. How boring ha? Just wanted to ramble a little bit!

auntlisa1909 said...

I always wanted to be a news correspondent,traveling world wide.Then retire and write stories as good as Lucy Monroe does

Jenn said...

I always wanted to be a singer, but I hate getting up infront of people so that just wasn't going to fly.

Darla said...

Monkeys...boy that brings back memories! LOL!

I always just wanted to be Cow Girl, since I was so over the top about horses. I'm still over the top about horses but haven't ridden in quite some time...but I can still whistle and make it sound like a horse. TRULY! Thats how I used to call my pony. BG!

Donna Kauffman said...

Hi everyone - thanks for saving me from public embarrassment! :)

A lot of future wanna be law enforcers out there. My dad was a cop and I knew early on that was not going to be a path for me. It's all I can do to make it through an episode of CSI without covering my face through the gory parts. LOL

This also kept me from pursuing anything in medicine - human or vet. Though I did train and groom dogs for a living for awhile!

Anonymous said...

Donna - Thanks for the memories!! The Monkee's and Donny Osmaond in one sentence!! Though I have to say that at 12 I was in love with Fabian !!!!! Or was it Frankie Avalon, no it was Dion.
Judy A.

bamabelle said...

Hi Donna!

You are funny in print and blog format! I wanted to be a teacher and also Wonderwoman when I grew up lol. I became interested in medicine, and decided on nursing instead of teaching. As far as Wonderwoman ... well I am a woman, that's 50% right?

Becky said...

I wanted to be a model when I was younger and I had a chance to be a Kohl's kid model, but my mother didn't want to put that on me. She was afraid if I took the job then I would be subjected to publicity and wouldn't be able to live a normal kids life.

Ali said...

I wanted to be the President...then I wanted to be (all at once)a piano player, I was taking lessons, a singer, I was in my school choir, a painter, I was taking art class, and of course a writer, I've always loved to write :-). I always wanted to do something creative.

BarbaraV said...

I wanted to be a speech pathology, however my mom did not agree with me so I went into a similar field. I am a register nurse so I guess in some ways I get to help people.

Donna Kauffman said...

Wanna be rock stars and singers... I was WAY ahead of the video curve back in the day. We had a backyard filled with huge trees and my sister and I used to use pine cones as microphones and pretend we were singing as we "performed" strolling around the trees, posing on the trees, peeking out from behind them, etc etc embarrassing etc. Thank god there were no digital movie cameras or cell phones back in that same day. My mother would still be showing that "movie" to everyone she knows!

bamabelle said...

Lucy,

I'm so glad you ended up writing. I have many of your books on my keeper shelf. It would have been a loss to the romance community if things had turned out otherwise. Although, Senator Monroe has a nice ring to it lol.

Jennifer Y. said...

LOL Donna! My cousins and I used to do the same thing.

Judy F said...

A backup singer. Thought it was so cool. LOL

Hey donna I love your blog.

Mark St. Claire said...

What I wanted to be when I grew up was a singer and a dancer. That sure didn't happen. I'd still love to do it. But as far as I'm going to get is being a female impersonator, because I love to entertain just by being someone else. And writing about it. I hope my comment doesn't offend anybody, but it's just what I enjoy doing.

I always thought it was hard to get on stage and entertain. But it's really simple after you have been doing it a while. You will start being comfortable with the audience and the stage. Then you will find out it's a lot of fun.

Barb V. said...

I wanted to be either a librarian or a dog handler at the big shows like Westminster.

Barbara-PF said...

I wanted to be a teacher for the longest time.

Jennifer Y. said...

Oooh...Barb V...interesting choices!

lidia said...

I wanted to be a nurse -- but, I'm too squemish! LOL

bamabelle said...

Jennifer Y.,

I also wanted to be an astronaut after my first trip to The Space and Rocket Center. I'm kind of technology impaired though, so probably not my best idea lol!

Cathie said...

I used to sing in a stick, lol, pretending I was a singer, but my family said I really sang bad, LOL

JillB said...

A Navy helicopter pilot or a volcanologist/seismologist - unfortunately, they'd take more maths than I was blessed with. {sigh}

Bailey Stewart said...

Well back when I was trying to decide who was cuter - Shaun Cassidy or Parker Stevenson (see, I'm as old as dirt too), I wanted to be a singer/actress. I wanted somebody else to write my lines. I never thought I could be funny - in fact, I thought I was pretty boring. Who knew? That's why I have my blog too - because there I can be as funny as I want to and I can't hear the catcalls, hisses and boos. Plus that hook can't find me.

Jennifer Y. said...

Bamabelle: I wanted to be an astronaut because I saw the movie SpaceCamp...anyone remember that movie?

Maureen said...

I must be older than dirt too because I remember 45s and we had a Donny Osmond Fan Club in our neighborhood where you had to say what you loved about Donny Osmond to get in. The catch was it couldn't be the same thing that someone else already named.

The three things I wanted to be when I grew up was a teacher, a singer and a mom. Well I ended being a mom who sang to her babies as she walked them around in the middle of the night and then taught them their ABCs and 123s.

Nicole said...

I wanted to be Indiana Jones and discover all sorts of cool stuff and have adventures.

Love your blog, too.

ShelMel said...

Aww man, do I have to pick just one?? I wanted to be so many things: a veteranarian, a dancer, a singer, a pilot, a kick a** army girl, president of the US, president of a big company, a store owner, a fashion designer, an artist - and on and on and on. Heck, I still want to be all those things and more when I grow up.

Hey, does it count that I know who the Monkeys are and what they sing and was in love with Donny, too? ACK!

catslady said...

Waving to Donna :) I just finished Not So Snow White and loved it!

I wanted to be a veteranarian or an artist.

Cryna said...

I wanted to go into politics and my Dad swears I would have been good at it.......but shrugging.......I hate to be in front of people and speaking.......I am too self conscious

Rachael said...

I wanted to be a writer. Still do...

Cryna said...

Maureen

I remember 45's, in fact my Dad was taping some of the music from them the other day and I have I don't know how many vinyl 33 records, before I finally went to tapes.

That really makes me older than dirt..........LOL

Jennifer Y. said...

Oh, and I just remembered...when people used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say taller...LOL....but that wasn't really a secret. I am 5 foot 2...and not growing any...I still say I want to be taller when I grow up...LOL.

readingissomuchfun said...

I always liked to do hair. I wanted to become a hair stylist :-)
I use to do my dolls hair *G*

Linda.H.

Lis said...

I wanted to be either a soap actress or a wrestler.

Lois said...

I'm 29, and to this day I still want to be an astronaut. Probably unlikely unless I win the lottery for 35 million dollars -- 20 for the trip up, and the rest for an upgrade to be able to walk in space -- but alas, I'll have to settle on being a physics major. :)

Lois

Amy said...

Believe it or not but a writer but I have no talent in that area but I do love to read. I usually go thru 10 to 15 books per week.

Debbie E said...

I just wanted to be married to Elvis, that's all. I knew we would have a great life together. He would serenade me all the time. Ahhhhhhhhhh.

I also wanted to travel and see the world and Elvis had to sing all over the world so it worked out perfect.

Jennifer L. said...

I wanted to be an astro-physicist and work at NASA. I even did a summer at Space Camp in preparation for my future career. However, it wasn't in the cards for me.

Brandy said...

I wanted to be like the CSI people. My Uncle was a Police Officer and I thought that would be soooo cool to be the one to collect the evidence and ultimately solve the crime. Um, unfortunately I can't stand the sight of blood. And yeah, then there was the whole dead body issue. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. That's bad isn't it?

Laurie D. said...

I wanted to be a lounge singer. Used to wear my rummage sale high heels, put one end of my jump rope under the lid of my toy box (my stage) and used the other end as my microphone. I was in lounge lizard heaven after my cousin gave me an old prom dress! What a fun question - great answers too!!

Michelle B said...

I changed my mind a lot, but the three main things I remember were an archaeologist/paleontologist, an astronaut, and a teacher.

I dreamed of going to space camp. I was so bummed I never got to go. I used to dig for dinosaur bones (and other fossils) in the backyard and pick up random bones I'd see. I drove my parents nuts.

And my mom tells stories of how I'd use to "teach" my dolls LOL.

robynl said...

I wanted to be a librarian or a lab technician. Neither worked out.

Julie in Ohio said...

I was going to be a lawyer. I could argue with the best of them, but then I discovered that I could only argue with my family. My shyness kind of put the kabash on that one. :o0

Michele said...

Gee, everyone mentions old TV idols, my first was for a marionette in Sting Ray - an adventure series precurser to the Gerry Anderson production UFO..LOL

I wanted to be an archeologist, got the bug when I found a fossilzed root in a rock. Unbeknownst to me at the time, roots can grow into rocks and split them. Alas my fossil was too much of the 20th century- but I still love old things - I better, I'm becoming one... *grin*

Ali said...

amy, you said you wanted to be a writer, since you go through so many books, why not write reviews? :-)
P.S. I love Lucy Monroe and Diana Palmer, too. I've been collecting all of Diana's backlist ;-)

mstreetman said...

What I wanted to be when I grew up... Who said I HAD to GROW UP because they need to be kicked out of the party!

Seriously, I wanted to be an animal trainer and play with Shamu all day. Then I think I was on the astronaut bit, blame it on the space shuttle program finally launching when I was in elementary school. I finally "thought" I had decided on a career in medicine thinking either physical therapy or nursing but found out I have more of a brain for numbers so I have a degree in Finance.

So much for the dream...

Michele

catslady said...

If I could pick something to do/be today it definitely would be to own a book store. The kind that would have guest authors all the time and serve coffee/deserts. Now if I could only win that lottery.

Cherie said...

I wanted to be a horse breeder.
still do actually but no pretty much nothing about horses lol

~Cherie K~

Donna Kauffman said...

It's so cool to see what everyone's answers are. Funny how a lot of them are the same - who knew we had so many budding Indiana Jones's and Neil Armstrongs out there! And here all I aspired to do was tell a few jokes. LOL!

Laurie D - I loved the visual of the jump rope and old prom dress and little you as this jaded lounge singer!!

Jen in WA said...

Let's see... when I was really little (5 or so) I wanted to be a firegirl (fire fighter). When I got older I wanted to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom).

Well, I'm neither of those things... I'm a secretary going to school (part-time) to be a librarian.

JENNA said...

A romance writer - honest. As far back as I can remember...except for the spy period. But then the cold war ended and I was back to wanting to write love stories.

AmberPackard said...

I wanted to sing Country Music.

flip said...

I wanted to be an interstellar ambassador and date a hot Vulcan. Yes, I am also older than dirt. Being an interstellar ambassador and dating a hot Vulcan still sound like fun.

Jodi said...

A veteranarian or an orthodontist.

I'm not either of them though!

Cheryl said...

Depending on what day or time it was . . . teacher, beautician, nurse, and architect. Oh, and at once time, I wanted to be a mechanic so I could take care of my own car and not trust a man to tell me what's wrong and how much it's going to cost. lol. And ended up working in an office.

Heather Harper said...

A nun.

I'm serious.

Estella said...

I wanted to be an airline stewardess,but am height challenged(short).

KimW said...

You are funny and I love your books. I always wanted to be an airline stewardess when I grew up. Don't know why because that doesn't really appeal at all to me now. LOL

Stacy Dawn said...

A movie star...I wanted to do drama and heavy necking with the major hotties LOL

Meljprincess said...

I have the same answer as Amy. A rock star or movie star. *g*

Jennifer L. said...

It has been interesting reading the responses to this blog. So many Sally Ride and TJ Hooker wannabes!

Pamk said...

lol love george and richard too grew up listening to both. I wanted to be a movie star or rock singer never mind that I can't sing a lick.

cyngreen said...

Always wanted to be a singer - superstar, LOL. I can carry a tune, but that's about it. Guess it worked out for the best! :)

Danielle said...

I saw Steve Martin in concert.

When I was growing up I always wanted to be the check-out girl at the grocery store.

Pam P. said...

Donna, doesn't surprise me you wanted to be a comedienne, between your books and entertaining blog.

I wanted to be a singer but too shy to be in front of a crowd. My teenage heartthrob was Dion, he swayed me a bit more than Fabian. Remember that song - Donna the Prima Donna? lol

hunsmom (Jenni K.) said...

I always, always, always wanted to be a MOM... took us 10 years after our wedding, but I finally landed my dream job...and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Jenni (hunsmom)

Donna Kauffman said...

You all have been so great today - I appreciate all your kind comments. And thanks for playing along with my blog question and answering so honestly and enthusiastically.

Group hug!!

Kiki said...

I wanted to be all sorts of things when I grew up, from a vet to a statistician (I was a veeeeery geeky child) to a stunt double.
I got varying degrees of training for all my haywire idesa, but then I thought 'Hey, the funniest reaction I could get is if I told people I write romance novels for a living, except I don't make a living from them yet'.
Best cocktain conversation starter ever. Wouldn't want any other job. ^_^

Donna Kauffman said...

Oooh, I like the stuntwoman thing. I know I could rock that job! Except, you know, for that whole fear of heights thing I have.

Rats.

Heather said...

I used to love drawing crude house plans and was really good in drafting, so actually considered architecture -- but like jillb it was the math angle that got in the way. I still occasionally clip house plans I like out of the Sunday paper.

readingissomuchfun said...

Donna, I just wanted to say I had stopped by your site and your books look really good. I am looking forward to reading them. Especially Sleeping With Beauty. Love the covers :) Beautiful website :)

HUGSSSS
Linda.H.

Marcail said...

An archeologist like Indiana Jones.

Pat said...

Hi, Donna.
I agree wholeheartedly with catslady. Hi to you too, Cats.

Owning a bookstore, meeting authors and serving coffee and great treats.

mammakim said...

I wanted to be a lawyer, but I opted for kids when I turned 18 and now 16 years later at 35 I am feeling like that part of life has passed so I became an accountant instead.

Jennifer Y. said...

My sis is an accountant. She wanted to be an astronaut too...I remember her talking about it shortly after the Challenger disaster and I was scared she would get hurt...I was about 4 or so. Of course a couple of years later, I was the one wanting to be an astronaut. Instead I have a degree in Psychology and family studies and I am looking for a job...LOL

Makes me wonder how many of us have the careers we wanted as children.

Donna Kauffman said...

I was thinking the same thing, Jennifer. I also wanted to be a dancer (jazz, broadway, fosse kind of stuff, not ballet) but I sort of made that happen for a while, albeit on a very small, local scale. But it was enough to fulfill the "what if..." and make me wonder about my other ones.

And though some here had pie in the sky dreams, some were very specific and doable, even if shortlived and ill advised based on ones strengths and weaknesses (both emotional and academic.) Some dreams change for good reason, after all.

I wonder, though, if where we all ended up has been equally fulfilling in its own unique, albeit unexpected way, anyway. Mine has, and surpassed them on a number of levels.

And yet there is still that little part inside that wonders, "yeah, but what if...." Not in any real way, but despite whatever successes I've achieved, the fact that even now I'd still too chicken to go for that one dream sort of keeps things in perspective. You know?

It's been great hanging with you all...thanks for sharing so much. I've enjoyed each and every post!

G'night. :)

Jennifer Y. said...

Great thoughts Donna! I have enjoyed reading the responses as well!

readingissomuchfun said...

Tyvm Donna for being here with us. Lucy has a wonderful blog and I am glad we are having this party with all you wonderful authors to share with us these lovely prizes. I have so much books now added to my Wish List :) Thanxs so much Lucy love your blog :)

HUGSSSS
Linda.H.